Such an Uncomfortable Place to Hang Your Ass

Deer Ass, Nye Montana
When we were kids growing up in the Bible Belt, my mother used to threaten to wash our mouths out with soap if we told dirty jokes. Like a lot of kids in that era, in that place, my older brother and I used to try and juke her out by using off-color biblical references that involved the hint of slightly naughty words.

my brother: “Hey punk, who was the the most flexible man in the Bible?”

me, wincing for the inevitable punch: “dunno”

my brother: “Balaam”

me: “huh?”

my brother: “it says in the Bible he tied his ass to a tree and walked into town.”

my mom, unseen from some other room: “PETER!”

my brother: “MOM—it’s in the BIBLE.”

Driving out of the Stillwater Valley last night, heading back home, I saw this rather unfortunate deer who clearly misjudged the leap distance across the borrow pit and caught the last strand of barbed wire.

First thing that came to mind was that joke.